The Good Son

My dad comes home from work and every day the same routine

No “Son, how was your school, or your day or how’ve you been?”

He goes straight for the fridge and then he starts on his first beer

One after the other, me and mom don’t speak in fear

Then something always triggers, he becomes an awful mess

He slurs his words and loudly, bitches to us like a test

He calls my mom a whore and tells her crap, it’s all a lie

He waits for her to argue, till she leaves the room to cry

I’m then left in the kitchen, trying to finish all my chores

He calls me fat and stupid, how much should a boy endure

He’s even called me faggot to my face to stir me up

The words they may not touch me, but inside they fuck me up

Today he’s going overboard, he slapped her off the chair

She’s laying on the floor, won’t look up, she doesn’t dare

He kicks her as he screams for her to “get up off her ass”

She doesn’t move an inch, waiting for the time to pass

I look at him in horror, but I just won’t say a word

I know I should defend her, but to move would be absurd

I feel my body shaking, and my pants start to get wet

I’m pissing on myself I hope he leaves and just forgets

He laughs out loud as slowly there’s a puddle on the floor

Now I’ve just become a pussy as he puts it and much more

I think I started crying, then he said I’ve got to learn

He lifted up his fist, I knew then it was my turn

I know inside he loves me, as he hits me with all force

My skin begins to soften and the welts begin to hurt

I can’t pinpoint the moment where I pissed him off so much

I don’t know what I did that was so wrong to get a punch

My mom has been defeated, his victory was won

I’m crouched down in the corner, does he know I stole the gun

I hid it in the mattress, in the hole that’s by my feet

I know they’d never find it, no one’s ever changed my sheets

I’ve waited for this day, I knew soon it was to come

That is why I did it, why I stole my daddy’s gun

He’s lighting up a cigarrette, my mom’s still there passed out

He gets his foot to move her, I see blood spill out her mouth

He looks at me and turns, convinced for now his job is done

Hope for other options, my thoughts focus on just one

I hold the gun with anger, some confusion, mostly hate

Looking for this bastard, I’ll make sure he meets his fate

Funny thru my mind, I could only think of God

Why did I deserve this, am I worthless, just because

I try not to be mean to others, don’t’ steal, and don’t lie

Is it just for your amusement, there must be a reason why

I found him on the porch, and the moment our eyes met

He sobered up real fast, made a promise he’d forget

He said he’d never touch us, meanwhile mom’s bleeding inside

I look him in the eye, God forgive me, we all died

Pulled the trigger, then he dropped, on the floor his body lay

In silence, I just waited, want to make it go away

I’m only ten years old, here my family disconnects

I can’t change all the damage, hell I don’t have no regrets

My dad has never hugged me, I never made him proud

My mom might have loved me, but I always had my doubts

An evil lurked inside my house, what path it didn’t care

It seeped throughout the walls, as if I was barely there

I called for help and quickly with some lady on the phone

I checked the lifeless bodies and advised I was alone

The cops pulled in and found me, still in tears under the stairs

I told them how it happened, blood was matted in my hair

Their bodies lay in plastic bags, as they left the house for good

How will I survive, this life was mine, I understood

I knew of nothing else, I’ve no where else to call my home

But my family was fucked up, I guess I’m better off alone