I must be related to the fat kid in Goonies

For a minute there I thought this iPad was "The Shit!" Then I got comfortable and it went to shit.
Since I haven't blogged, had no laptop, or any real kind of Internet connection except for my phone, and this is only when it wasn't a glorified nanny for my 2 yr old, I have been up researching writing, the characterization, the POV (point of view), plotting methods, you name it, I have looked it up. The one problem I had was those voices, those characters were all me, I was recreating images and scenarios for my own life, there is really no need for imagination with the people I deal with on a daily basis. So I finally decided to go back to blogging, because when I don't write I feel empty. This all started with the iPad gift by my adorable husband, who took the original iPad he gave me and filled it up with nine different Angry Bird apps, sports and fighting jet apps, and a number of absurd apps that Diego added on, as he too was given full reign of my original iPad, as this toy kept them quiet, I did not complain, recently Mike D also jumps on and logs into Netflix to watch Dora and Scooby Doo, also invading my iPad with Pocoyo apps. I was given the original on Feb 12 as an anniversary gift, and maybe spent an hour on it.
Monday I got the new one, I hid it as best I could, determined to not allow it to fill with testosterone based apps. Needless to say, I don't hide things well, on Tues and Wed I came home to Diego on their iPad on the bottom of the bunk bed and Mike on mine under the covers, my mother in law didn't realize there were two, and assumed there was one, both boys playing with it well hidden. (and I though asians were the smart kids in class you could cheat off of)
Last night I decided to start, for the fifth time, to write a manuscript, this time a mommy memoir, not the kind that Jesus saves you and you are all inspirational with butterfly kisses, the kind where the day starts you off looking normal and ends with you looking like a homeless sucking out of the bottle for the last drop.
I talked to Miguel, who ok'd an app purchase and I downloaded it, it didn't appear, this was well after midnight. I went to bed thinking nothing of it. Today I sat in bed, downed a BFC Green Monster and began to think and plot out a memoir. I searched for the app and found it, went to download it and an error message came up "App already purchased", I went to install it and an error message came up "App not available".
I call my Verizon tech guy (my husband) who sits and pushes buttons and gives me that look.
"Don't look at me like that, I didnt do anything!"
"No, it's not you, it took fifty engineers from MIT to put this thing together and you touch it, and look..." He shows me a screen where the battery connection is showing like it's unplugged, "you had nothing to do with this!"
He walks away with the iPad in hand. A two year old and a ten year old, spend countless hours and theirs is working fine, mine takes mere
hours and it's off to be disassembled and put together, alas I get the Frankenstein iPad after all.
I hide under the covers, like Mike, and log on to Facebook, maybe with enoght prayers they could save me. I think of Chunk from Goonies, and realize I am missing the plaid jacket, otherwise we are twins, we eat with joy and break things by just looking at them.
I hear the fridge open and a bottle of pills, I am now pulling out the big guns asking for saints to come together and get the sacred St of Mac to fix the fucking oversized calculator.
Half an hour later, 3 Hail Marys and 2 Our Fathers, my husband walks in and drops the iPad in bed.
"What did I do? Did you fix it?"
"I can't begin to explain, much less understand what you did. But I had to shut the whole thing down and upload everything from scratch, but your app is in there."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!". ( And a special shout out to the St of Mac)
I open my iPad and there is my writing app, able to bring tears to my eyes, if it weren't placed right between Angry Birds and Angry Birds Rio Editon.
***if any part of this blog is misspelled or not written correctly it's because the iPad will not let me edit blogs once I hit complete***