For a minute there I thought this iPad was "The Shit!" Then I got comfortable and it went to shit.
Since I haven't blogged, had no laptop, or any real kind of Internet connection except for my phone, and this is only when it wasn't a glorified nanny for my 2 yr old, I have been up researching writing, the characterization, the POV (point of view), plotting methods, you name it, I have looked it up. The one problem I had was those voices, those characters were all me, I was recreating images and scenarios for my own life, there is really no need for imagination with the people I deal with on a daily basis. So I finally decided to go back to blogging, because when I don't write I feel empty. This all started with the iPad gift by my adorable husband, who took the original iPad he gave me and filled it up with nine different Angry Bird apps, sports and fighting jet apps, and a number of absurd apps that Diego added on, as he too was given full reign of my original iPad, as this toy kept them quiet, I did not complain, recently Mike D also jumps on and logs into Netflix to watch Dora and Scooby Doo, also invading my iPad with Pocoyo apps. I was given the original on Feb 12 as an anniversary gift, and maybe spent an hour on it.
Monday I got the new one, I hid it as best I could, determined to not allow it to fill with testosterone based apps. Needless to say, I don't hide things well, on Tues and Wed I came home to Diego on their iPad on the bottom of the bunk bed and Mike on mine under the covers, my mother in law didn't realize there were two, and assumed there was one, both boys playing with it well hidden. (and I though asians were the smart kids in class you could cheat off of)
Last night I decided to start, for the fifth time, to write a manuscript, this time a mommy memoir, not the kind that Jesus saves you and you are all inspirational with butterfly kisses, the kind where the day starts you off looking normal and ends with you looking like a homeless sucking out of the bottle for the last drop.
I talked to Miguel, who ok'd an app purchase and I downloaded it, it didn't appear, this was well after midnight. I went to bed thinking nothing of it. Today I sat in bed, downed a BFC Green Monster and began to think and plot out a memoir. I searched for the app and found it, went to download it and an error message came up "App already purchased", I went to install it and an error message came up "App not available".
I call my Verizon tech guy (my husband) who sits and pushes buttons and gives me that look.
"Don't look at me like that, I didnt do anything!"
"No, it's not you, it took fifty engineers from MIT to put this thing together and you touch it, and look..." He shows me a screen where the battery connection is showing like it's unplugged, "you had nothing to do with this!"
He walks away with the iPad in hand. A two year old and a ten year old, spend countless hours and theirs is working fine, mine takes mere
hours and it's off to be disassembled and put together, alas I get the Frankenstein iPad after all.
I hide under the covers, like Mike, and log on to Facebook, maybe with enoght prayers they could save me. I think of Chunk from Goonies, and realize I am missing the plaid jacket, otherwise we are twins, we eat with joy and break things by just looking at them.
I hear the fridge open and a bottle of pills, I am now pulling out the big guns asking for saints to come together and get the sacred St of Mac to fix the fucking oversized calculator.
Half an hour later, 3 Hail Marys and 2 Our Fathers, my husband walks in and drops the iPad in bed.
"What did I do? Did you fix it?"
"I can't begin to explain, much less understand what you did. But I had to shut the whole thing down and upload everything from scratch, but your app is in there."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!". ( And a special shout out to the St of Mac)
I open my iPad and there is my writing app, able to bring tears to my eyes, if it weren't placed right between Angry Birds and Angry Birds Rio Editon.
***if any part of this blog is misspelled or not written correctly it's because the iPad will not let me edit blogs once I hit complete***
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
X Neighbor
If you have ever been by my house, and you probably haven't, but if you have, you would have noticed an older lady in the neighborhood that regularly walks dogs. They are all different dogs, some chi-waw-waws (can you believe I can't spell it) then yorkies, labradors, and even some canines that sit in a stroller. The woman is obsessed with dogs, I imagine she has tons of peanut butter stocked in her pantry. She strolls by, I wave, she waves back, that is the extent of our relationship. Juno and my mother in law have since changed that forever.
My mother in law buys in bulk at the Korean market, kinda like Sam's Club, but with items I don't eat and can't pronounce. Lots of noodles, things that once lived in the ocean, and vegetables foreign to me, roots and worm like foods, she says noodles, I still won't taste them. She came home one day, before picking up the kids from school and daycare, the car loaded with her delicacies, including bottled water, three cases to be exact. She opened up the kitchen and began to unload, naturally Juno sprinted off into the free world.
After unloading and with one case of water left, she closed the hatch of her car, oversized for her sixty pound frame, and held on to the case of water, the dog lady was doing her rounds. My mother in law held the case of water and watched as Juno began to get friendly with the dog that was being walked, butt sniffing had turned into horseplay between the two beasts. The dog lady held on to the leash and was being yanked forward and backwards, Juno doesn't do leashes, so he was free to roam and tease the dog being walked. The dog lady played tug of war and looked to my mother in law, " Help me!". My mother in law unwillingly dropped the case of water and began chasing Juno.
This story is all here say from my mother in law, and my mother. My mother in law could not catch Juno, he ran, dog lady regained her
composure, began to walk and Juno would come back in full force. "Do something with your dog?" dog lady screamed at my mother in law, well that just did it.
"You no see I try, you no see!" My mother in law was furious, she chased him around some more, and was out of breath. Juno took off but came right back. "Get that dog away from me. You aren't doing anything?"
I am sure that the words after that comment were not audible to anyone, just as I am sure she spit and hocked some of the words, because that is just how she curses. My mother in law responded, "You no see me try, you estuping ole lady, you estuping, I no cay if he bite you, I no cay!" And with that she took her water inside and left the dog lady outside to fend for herself. She immediately called my mother, who immediately called me at work.
"Mom, where is Juno now?"
"Oh, I don't know, she left him outside and locked the door. She is mad at him, and won't let him into the house." I cringed and inhaled deeply, wondering if animal control would be knocking at my door or issuing me a ticket for improper free roaming dog. I called my mother in law who cursed at me and told me about the estuping lady, she hoped Juno had rabies and would give the dog lady some doggie style love.
I have since waived to her as she walks by, and I am now an invisible person to her, she won't even look at me, but as long as she is roaming the streets, I know she is safe and hasn't been hacked into some Kim chi in a jar, fermenting in my back yard.
My mother in law buys in bulk at the Korean market, kinda like Sam's Club, but with items I don't eat and can't pronounce. Lots of noodles, things that once lived in the ocean, and vegetables foreign to me, roots and worm like foods, she says noodles, I still won't taste them. She came home one day, before picking up the kids from school and daycare, the car loaded with her delicacies, including bottled water, three cases to be exact. She opened up the kitchen and began to unload, naturally Juno sprinted off into the free world.
After unloading and with one case of water left, she closed the hatch of her car, oversized for her sixty pound frame, and held on to the case of water, the dog lady was doing her rounds. My mother in law held the case of water and watched as Juno began to get friendly with the dog that was being walked, butt sniffing had turned into horseplay between the two beasts. The dog lady held on to the leash and was being yanked forward and backwards, Juno doesn't do leashes, so he was free to roam and tease the dog being walked. The dog lady played tug of war and looked to my mother in law, " Help me!". My mother in law unwillingly dropped the case of water and began chasing Juno.
This story is all here say from my mother in law, and my mother. My mother in law could not catch Juno, he ran, dog lady regained her
composure, began to walk and Juno would come back in full force. "Do something with your dog?" dog lady screamed at my mother in law, well that just did it.
"You no see I try, you no see!" My mother in law was furious, she chased him around some more, and was out of breath. Juno took off but came right back. "Get that dog away from me. You aren't doing anything?"
I am sure that the words after that comment were not audible to anyone, just as I am sure she spit and hocked some of the words, because that is just how she curses. My mother in law responded, "You no see me try, you estuping ole lady, you estuping, I no cay if he bite you, I no cay!" And with that she took her water inside and left the dog lady outside to fend for herself. She immediately called my mother, who immediately called me at work.
"Mom, where is Juno now?"
"Oh, I don't know, she left him outside and locked the door. She is mad at him, and won't let him into the house." I cringed and inhaled deeply, wondering if animal control would be knocking at my door or issuing me a ticket for improper free roaming dog. I called my mother in law who cursed at me and told me about the estuping lady, she hoped Juno had rabies and would give the dog lady some doggie style love.
I have since waived to her as she walks by, and I am now an invisible person to her, she won't even look at me, but as long as she is roaming the streets, I know she is safe and hasn't been hacked into some Kim chi in a jar, fermenting in my back yard.
I'm back...kinda
Today I got an iPad, my laptop died and I haven't been able to blog. Writing is like breathing, for me blogging is like breathing, I feel like I have just been revived. Wish it were more like mouth to mouth with Johnny Depp, but an iPad will do just fine. I need you guys, the ones who read me, if there are any of you out there. I don't think i got any message with i miss you, where were you, or did you finally end your miserable life? But for those who do read, were the blogs too long, or ok, i would love any feedback, is anyone out there, i actually think most of my blog hits are by mistake, but so much has happened since I last blogged, let me know your feedback. please!
Now back to blogging.
Now back to blogging.
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