Juno's Incontinence

I love my Juno, (my 2 year old Beagle) I really do. Juno's just a little more than I can handle. Three kids, laundry, a husband, mother in law, mother, and mike d is more than anyone can handle, poor Juno has no chance.
I cleaned the entire house this weekend, yes I did.
Today my hubby was off from work, so I didn't come home to the same house. I actually came home feeling like I had a stomach bug. But I had to eat something. We ordered Chinese and my hubby went out to pick it up. I got out of the shower and put on my pajamas and sat to watch TV, knowing that once the hubster got back I would lose the power of the remote and it would be baseball for me. I cushioned my butt into the sofa and put my elbow down.
Put my elbow down into a puddle of pee, yes, good old Juno peed on the sofa. And it didn't stop there. I stood up and took off my shirt wiping the sofa, hoping that the neighbors wouldn't peek into the window. Wearing a bra and pajama pants I walked towards the bathroom to get a towel, stepping into another puddle. Now my foot was dripping, the towel was still far away, I hopped into yet another fucking puddle.
What was I to do, I held my t shirt in one hand and now removed my pants, the property value on my house plummeted, I threw my pants on the floor and began to make my way to the towel. A more naked than not towel head dancing around in a frenzy. I only had so much "me time" to spare. I shimmied to the rest of the house with a towel under my feet, cursing at the dog the entire time, he doesn't speak English, so I really let loose.
In one shot, my dog has peed a trail from the sofa into the living room to the steps in my bedroom ending at the door to the backyard. Since dogs don't speak I can't blame him. How did I know he had to pee, I just got home. There had to have been at least a gallon.
Towels and pajamas thrown into a corner, I ran to spray the sofa with Windex (Windex cleans everything!) wiped the area well, put back the spray and grabbed the remote, meeting my husband at the door before I had a chance to plop my ass back down. I handed him the remote, giving up the battle before it began.
Apparently no one remembered to let the dog out and I payed the price with very precious "me time". Go Rays.