X Neighbor

If you have ever been by my house, and you probably haven't, but if you have, you would have noticed an older lady in the neighborhood that regularly walks dogs. They are all different dogs, some chi-waw-waws (can you believe I can't spell it) then yorkies, labradors, and even some canines that sit in a stroller. The woman is obsessed with dogs, I imagine she has tons of peanut butter stocked in her pantry. She strolls by, I wave, she waves back, that is the extent of our relationship. Juno and my mother in law have since changed that forever.

My mother in law buys in bulk at the Korean market, kinda like Sam's Club, but with items I don't eat and can't pronounce. Lots of noodles, things that once lived in the ocean, and vegetables foreign to me, roots and worm like foods, she says noodles, I still won't taste them. She came home one day, before picking up the kids from school and daycare, the car loaded with her delicacies, including bottled water, three cases to be exact. She opened up the kitchen and began to unload, naturally Juno sprinted off into the free world.

After unloading and with one case of water left, she closed the hatch of her car, oversized for her sixty pound frame, and held on to the case of water, the dog lady was doing her rounds. My mother in law held the case of water and watched as Juno began to get friendly with the dog that was being walked, butt sniffing had turned into horseplay between the two beasts. The dog lady held on to the leash and was being yanked forward and backwards, Juno doesn't do leashes, so he was free to roam and tease the dog being walked. The dog lady played tug of war and looked to my mother in law, " Help me!". My mother in law unwillingly dropped the case of water and began chasing Juno.

This story is all here say from my mother in law, and my mother. My mother in law could not catch Juno, he ran, dog lady regained her
composure, began to walk and Juno would come back in full force. "Do something with your dog?" dog lady screamed at my mother in law, well that just did it.

"You no see I try, you no see!" My mother in law was furious, she chased him around some more, and was out of breath. Juno took off but came right back. "Get that dog away from me. You aren't doing anything?"

I am sure that the words after that comment were not audible to anyone, just as I am sure she spit and hocked some of the words, because that is just how she curses. My mother in law responded, "You no see me try, you estuping ole lady, you estuping, I no cay if he bite you, I no cay!" And with that she took her water inside and left the dog lady outside to fend for herself. She immediately called my mother, who immediately called me at work.

"Mom, where is Juno now?"

"Oh, I don't know, she left him outside and locked the door. She is mad at him, and won't let him into the house." I cringed and inhaled deeply, wondering if animal control would be knocking at my door or issuing me a ticket for improper free roaming dog. I called my mother in law who cursed at me and told me about the estuping lady, she hoped Juno had rabies and would give the dog lady some doggie style love.

I have since waived to her as she walks by, and I am now an invisible person to her, she won't even look at me, but as long as she is roaming the streets, I know she is safe and hasn't been hacked into some Kim chi in a jar, fermenting in my back yard.