Unwelcome Guest

These four walls hold a life that is slipping away
My convictions of blame, drove me out, I’m insane
They all say that I’m mad, but can’t see that I’m pissed
And I heard that I’m sad, and it’s you that I miss
So for once in my life I have nowhere to turn
Contemplate on what leads in this lesson to learn
Now you woke up this girl I forgot that I was
And I knew I was here, but got lost, fell in love
I can scream as I kick but you’re not by my side
You have brought her to life, with her begs suicide
Now she’s here and I’m losing control once again
Only thoughts of an end rule my thoughts, fill my head
I can’t breathe, I can’t sit, I just toss and I turn
With these marks on my arm from the flesh that I’ve burned
Its my way to inflict all the damage I’ve done
I’m so scared of myself, but there’s nowhere to run
For a moment I wish I could bring it all back
All the sex, all the smiles, lay my head on your lap
Now I go on each day wishing I was an us
But your not here no more so I don’t give a fuck
Where you went I don’t care, I just know you left me
In a nighmare to live, with the scenes that I see
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I just hate who I am
It repeats in my mind, starting off with your plan
But I didn’t believe you would go through with it
You just grabbed me and screamed and demanded I sit
Then you went off and told me I fucked up your life
That you wished I was dead cause I do nothing right
As I sat there the tears, just rolled down off my face
And the sight of the gun made my heart start to race
But I did nothing more as the gun met your head
I just held you and rocked, as you sat there and bled
You know that’s how they found me, arms holding you tight
They made sure I let go, but I put up a fight
If you wanted me dead, why’d you leave me behind
Like a sentence for death, traumatized for all time
Glossy eyes, empty visions of the stains that aren’t there
Now I’m locked up alone, and they know I don’t care
With IV’s dripping slowly and me in a daze
I still know what you did and it won’t go away
Funny though I’m now gone and she’s taken my place
Drinking in all the sorrow, enjoying the taste
I can see from afar that it’s not really me
Plays along as she waits for a chance to kill me