PF Changs

This morning's breakfast was a complete fiasco, (thank you pinky's south tampa) in order to try to erase the memory, my husband and I decided to order take out at the Chang. The best Chinese bistro in the world (at least to us). We call in the order and then we gladly wait the 30 minutes at home. Pack up the gremlins and drive off to the mall, stop to pick up lotto tix on the way, then discuss how we are going to spend our fair share after the divorce. I walk into the Chang and notice that everyone is dressed up but me, there I am in sweats and a tank top in the middle of a gathering of young yups dressed to the nines. I stick out like a trekkie at a Starbux, I ask where I wait for take out and the slim waitress in her black slacks and skin tight black tee directs me to the far off corner away from the seater people. (The ones waiting to be seated with Martini's in hand) I wait for my food and walk out, there is a black limo outside and countless cars waiting to be valeted. I look for my husband in my little Yaris and walk around away from the traffic. After a couple of minutes in the blaring sun, I look at the take out bag and my wallet, wondering if I drove myself there, heat has now caused delusions, I obviously was dropped off and walk around pacing the side of the restaurant where teenagers in Abrocrombie are smoking and texting away. I finally find my husband riding around in the pinto bean, rather than wait I walk over to the car past the line of traffic. I opened the door "Did you forget something at home?", he replies "I was here, where were you." We argue and finally figure out, he was at the other side of the restaurant waiting for me and got stuck, how we missed each other is a Bita moment, not sure how those planets unaligned. I have this thirst for a cherry diet coke and we stop at a gas station, where they do not sell the drink, my husband points out the advertisement for a 16 oz soda 99 cents. I walk in and go to the refridgerator with all the drinks, all but soda, there is not one soda in the cold section, I pace and laugh, the little hindu leans over from the counter and sees me laugh, he obviously doesnt get the joke. How are you going to advertise the soda and not have it, that can not be plausible, I walk over to begin to point out the sign and there next to the door is the soda fridge, on the other side of where I stood for about 6 minutes total. I grab the sodas, no cherry, at the counter pay, walk out and begin the story for the hubster. Now he is telling me how I am a walking disaster. He wonders how I get through life, as do I. And tells me how I may not be high maintenance, with the manis and pedis, but still I manage to chip away at his life and he hasnt ages in years as much as he has with me, well he is no walk in the park either, so there we both age each other. We are perfect, and in that moment, yadda yadda, yadda, not only are we to have and to hold, till death do us part, but with all that and growing old together we are doing an amazing job, the both of us, stabbing and picking away at the years causing the growing old part to progess at an astonoshing pace. By the way, (DOAB vs Pinky's cont'd) Pinky not only did I wait for an hour, half an hour at home and in the sun again, but the food at the Chang was amazing, and when I got home they forgot the white rice and the chopsticks, but that is ok, because PF Changs can do that. You, however, are no PF Chang's, dont get it twisted you will never even be a P in the running, they can make me wait, give me delusional and senile thoughts, and forget half my meal and it would still surpass the experience I had with you. Bon appetit bitch.