Oops, I did it again

You know I haven't had the chance to blog, mostly because everyone who watched my child is now petrified of watching the little felon. So I miss you guys.
I had a chance to blog and decided to spend a little alone time with my other half.
I talked him into a sensual massage and he lay on the bed waiting. I lathered the ointment on my hands, rubbed them together and began the massage.
I rubbed and decided to sit on his bottom, he was having trouble breathing, he didn't admit it, but I could tell, he sounded like he was having an asthma attack. I backed away and sat on the side, we played some Rob Thomas and I was enthralled, I rubbed in circled, tried to get all of the muscles that were balled up into stress and continued the session.
As time went by, like 3 minutes, I realized that the lotion was more of a syrup. But that didn't stop me, I waxed on, waxed off. I did the circles, began to knead and felt like I was making bread out of dough. Little flakes of skin began to appear like skin being rubbed off. I felt more like I was giving him a loopa scrubbing, he noticed.
I blew away the remnants of skin, they looked like spaghetti or thread, dark gray pieces of dead skin everywhere. I blew them away and his skin got hotter, I continued, this should be a good sign, heat.
He turned to me and his eyes did that wierd "WTF" look. I continued with a smile but there was definitely something way off.
He pulled the lotion bottle to his eyesight and read. "Did you know you are massaging me with lubricant?"
I smiled even wider, my eyes no longer visible.
"Do you have any idea how long it will take me to wash this shit off."
I looked at the bottle "Sensual Lubricant" well, I was right about the sensual.
"Nothing soap and water won't handle."
"It's glycerine."
The only thing I know about glycerine is that Bush sings it, and it's a great song, I looked at the ingredients, the first was glycerine. What is that, baby oil, lard, something from "Labyrinth" from the ever smelling stench pond? Really, just scrub with soap and water!
And with that the passion hauled ass out the window.
He went to bathe as I googled and facebook'd.
Definitely should have blogged.