I have lost count of the ways I have tried to keep this child entertained. We went back to water play today. Walking into the kitchen with no diaper was enough to get me to stop doing dishes and run a bath for a break. Mike needed a short break, so did mommy. And I needed to research.
From my sofa I could look into the bathroom. Trying to google is next to impossible, I am trying to compare the Fisher Price IXL, Mobigo, and the Leapster Explorer. Electronics for toddlers? Where are the days where pots and pans entertained a little boy? Bugs and dirt? Ok, well that he does, but I need him in the house, not out in the open, where his limits are endless and I could get arrested.
I need to know if it will keep him occupied, if I could borrow one a day that would be great, I would analyze his reaction to each of them. If he doesn't understand he slams it on the floor, that would be a "no" check, if he loves it he hides so no one can take it away, taking up hours of his attention (away from me). This is something I am willing to pay top dollar for, if this gave me the free time that I dream of, I am willing to also promote the product, create ads, give online testimonials and even fly my child out for commercials and photo shoots, yes, even travel. I have no problems sitting here waiting to pick him up from the airport.
Dreaming of such a thing I am lost in a daze. Suddenly the sound, the splashing sound. Like Michael Phelps is diving off of the window pane into my gallon sized bathtub. I walk in, the mismatched rug is splattered with water. I stand in place and just stare at the child. He smiles, I can't help but smile back. I sit on the sink and sing the ABC's, he jumps again. My arm goes into position to stop the diving drills. Then the famous crocodile death roll, and we are out of the bathtub.
I wonder just how much trouble he is going to need to be rescued from. I put him down on the rug and he runs to my bedroom, under my covers no doubt.
He reminds me of the movie Friday where they talk about "you can't catch a crack-head", for a moment I rest on the sofa. My child seems to always be high on caffeine, that is the only thing I can think of, now where he gets the drug from, I don't know. I don't have chocolate or soda. At least none that is missing.
But my child likes to do jumps into the bathtub, so he is more Michael Phelps, and I shall dub him Phelps, without the pot.
I know that it will take me a lot of time and energy to put the diaper on, I let him run and drain the battery. Diego jumps in and then Juno, they run from my bed to the living room and back.
I towel the bathroom floor dry and let them run wild, I try to straighten up, I can see the dust on the mirror and glass panels in the bathroom, where does all the dust come from? I turn off the light switch.
There, it's gone.
The towel goes into the dirty laundry bin, making more laundry that I don't want to wash. Going into the boys' room, I look at the toys and head for the drawers, he needs to just wear pajamas today. We are calling it a pajama day. I want to just rest.
Next to the bunk beds are all of my Tupperware, square, rectangle, circle shaped, laying out and sitting in a puddle. My Tupperware, I didn't even realize it was missing, is there nothing sacred anymore!!! He just snatches my Tupperware and uses it as a port-o-potty, his potty is right in the corner. What do I have to do to make him understand which plastic ware to piss in?
After assessing the damage and wrestling my Olympic phenomenon into his Buzz Lightyear pj's I collect the samples, just the right amount of pee to test for all of the recreational drugs 2 year olds take these days.
No comments:
Post a Comment