Time out for Granny

Mike D's first day was fine, I dropped him off, waited for the tears, and as I walked out the door called his name for a kiss good-bye. He looked at me as though he smelled a fart. I was merely taking him away from toys, he looked back at me confused, I left.
Day two was a little more like what I expected, he started to kick the back of my car seat when I pulled in, I pulled him out of the car seat and the teacher literally had to peel him off of me.
Day three started in bed, he refused to get out. After a good lucha libre match, we were on our way, I drove as fast as I could, within the speed limit, and he wailed like an ambulance which was quite proper for the moment.
My tears were held back, I hated to hear him cry, but he was at the point that no one wanted to watch him. I was going to have to start bribing, and I can't afford scratch offs and cold cream, not with their high demands.
I called the day care to check on him and was told that he was fine once I left, he did cry, but not for longer than five minutes. My heart fluttered. However, there was another matter that I now had to deal with. Again, secrets kept from me from my frenemies.
I called my mother in law. "Are you picking up Michael early from day care?"
"No, I just get there to watch, make sure she ok. She just sit there."
"She said you are getting there much earlier than wake-up time." I waited.
"Yes, I go fifteen minute early only, I no make noise, I sit corner, watch kids, watch her, see what she doing. Mikey still sleep."
She is a voyeur. She has been arriving early to the day care to watch what the owner does while they sleep. What is now happening is that when the owner sees the car pull up, she immediately lifts Michael from the cot and waits for her at the door with the child in a lethargic state, he must think he is going through the Wonderland tunnel, waking up with wierd looking humans where nothing seems logical.
"You can't do that, you have to go at three on the dot."
"She no let him sleep, she bring him out asleep, then seven pounds of pee pee in his diaper, she no good." That was her logic. Forget the fact that she is playing big brother by the mega blocks, it must be that surveillance camera instinct with her side job, watching and following people in a flea market, stalking those who may steel the shiny sequined fashionable shirts on sale. *snickers*
"Who likes to be stared at in the still of the dark, she has all those kids napping and here you come to sit at circle time in the corner to stare, of course she has him ready, she wants you to stay outside. Stop going early and quit scaring her." I could hear her puffing away at her Virginia Slims.
"Ok, I go 3:15." Did I hear her right?
"No, three o'clock. No 3:15! You go three o'clock." I slowly sounded off the vowels in my attempt to get her to understand what I am saying since I can't speak Korean.
***
I call her on the cell phone at 3:15 pm giving her enough time to do her inquisition and strap Mike D in the car.
"Uh huh." That would be her hello.
"How's Mikey?" I waited to hear him in the background.
"Me go now, me watchee teevee."
Inhale, exhale...
My brain is ready to burst, but in a work setting I can't scream, and driving home to beat her is not an option. If I argue she could get nervous and get into an accident, been there, done that. So I smile and look into my customer-service-mirror where I can see myself smile as I talk, my teeth have a hard time parting, I manage to tell her, "Ok, drive safe, call me when you get home."
Really is it that difficult to drive somewhere at a specific time, this is precisely why I do not count on her for anything that has to do with a schedule, aside for her owl like ways, she just cannot adjust herself to human time, she sleeps during the day and watches poker all night long, I am waiting to hear a cock a doodle doo at six in the morning to mark off the time adjustment in her body.
She called to tell me that he was fine, and she would be watching tv. No one could have ever prepared me for what happened next.
(It will be in the next blog, kinda long.)