The Great Escape

We got a new door, a gorgeous new door for the living room. I love it. I have a thing for doors. Wooden dark stained doors. One of my favorite picures is of doors from Puerto Rico, I am in awe of the color contrast and consider them works of art.



My hubby and dad installed the door, my hubby stained it in a dark shade of wood, the door is one of my favorite things to stare at, the blood red walls and the door brings tears to my eyes, if I squint I can imagine myself in a castle.

I sit down on the laptop and have the typical Nick Jr on in the background, I strategically place the laptop in front of the TV on my knees to do my best to remove the visions of dancing sex toys on tv for kids. I mean Muno in red looks like a french tickler and the pink one Foofa like a sperm come to life, then the robot, well he is electric and needs batteries I am sure, need I say more. I just LMAO when I googled images of french tickler and an image of Muno is smack dab in the middle, I must not have been the only one to make this comparison.

As I surf the web, I hear a click and look up and mike d has opened the door, waving bye bye and closing the door behind him. I sprinted to the door and caught him going down the porch steps, he was takin off, just leaving, I am sure he was going to my mother's but at two he wouldn't get too far. I grabbed him and the tantrum began, dragging him through the door and locking the door behind me.

I stomped to the bathroom where my husband was taking a shower and told him that we must lock the doors up like a new york apartment, except we were keeping the children from escaping rather than keeping intruders from coming in. We decided to make a trip to the Home Depot when he got out of the shower and I walked out into the living room.

Empty.

My gut had me look out the window, and there was mike d, standing my the car door playing with a branch he picked up from the front yard, if that was his choice of a defense weapon it better have thorns. I pulled the door open, knowing now that he unlocks it like a ninja and sneaks out without a good bye even and went up to him bending down to his eye level.

Without luck I am sure, I lectured him on strangers and the police that would pick him up if he would pull the whole Shawshank Redemption scheme again. Grabbing him by the hand and bitching away.

With mike in my arms, I took the convict to be to the warden, telling my husband of his stealth like getaway. Home Depot had jumped next on our to-do list. We strolled around the locks and picked up, went home only to find that my home was seriously built by the blind and impaired, the door and the surrounding frame didn't level out and the lock, now open was useless.

I know I shouldn't be but my husband drilling holes into my beloved door, brought tears to my eyes. Would it end up like one of those doors in a barn, did we have to donate it to Mr Ed and watch it destroyed and split in two, no I really didn't want any tools near my door unless it was to remove the whole thing to another house, because where ever we go the door goes with. Period. We decided that when we aren't going out we will shove the sofa in from of the castle door and hope that there will be no more escapes from the maniacal mastermind.