Casino Night

I waited for this all week, now just needed the kids to go to sleep to go to the casino. Me and $80. My dreams awaited.
The second my husband said "Go!" I ran out the door.
I had a five hour energy drink waiting for tonight, I sat in the car before starting the engine and gulped it down. I wanted to throw it into the street but didn't realize I was still in park when I threw it out the window.
I zoomed through the interstate and arrived to the casino, it was the equivalent of stepping into an ashtray, burnt butts everywhere, smoky and smelly and stale, like the inhabitants that roamed aimlessly, with their welfare checks and oxygen tanks, my mother and grandmother among the prestigious bunch.
I walked and walked around, waiting for just the right machine, and there is was, The Poopy Party. I love that machine, you get three party hats and gifts start to pop up, as you open each gift, you get credits. I put in my first twenty dollars, by the time I had ten dollars left I was ready to walk away, no Poopy Party. The drinks lady walked by, I said "Coke!" then thought for a second "Diet Coke." she gave me one of each, Hot Dog! This had to be a sign. Ten minutes later, twenty dollars gone.
I walked around some more and got a call from my cousin Tuty, she was at the casino looking for me. "I am by the waterfall." As I waited, a double amputee walked by, no arms. I was astonished, would I have the drive to play slots without arms, I wasn't sure, but just in case, I followed him around a while. He didn't play, maybe he misplaced the prosthesis or maybe he was just watching or maybe he used his toes? I couldn't spend any more time waiting for the impossible to be seen. I wished him luck, and he went on his way, I went the other way.
We met. I kissed everyone and my aunt walked me to the machine sure to pay out. Each play was two dollars, I put in a twenty and got three jackpots, my heart stopped. I watched in horror as I won a thousand pennies, that is only ten dollars people. I won the same damn thousand pennies, three more times. After forty dollars, I was out of there. Note to self, do not play the machine by the waterfalls that induces heart attacks without your Xanax.
I went to another machine with ladybugs, well that did not work for me either, ten dollars gone, in a matter of an hour I lost seventy dollars. I held on to my last ten and my dad told me to go to the "Deal or No Deal" game. Guess what daddy? No fucking deal.
I was out, the time was midnight and I was broke.
I waited for my dad to offer a twenty, but didn't have the balls to ask. So I just lingered around him, waiting for the human ATM to disperse anything.
I walked up to my mom, who had been playing a samurai game and was winning big. Each time the samurai came up, she put both feet up and her arms in position for a kung fu jab. She mimicked the game. This went on for an hour, she got bonus after bonus and was up to eighty dollars, when she left the machine, she had seventeen.
I noticed I lost my cigarettes, a brand new pack too. I walked everywhere and they were gone.
Dammit, there goes seven more dollars. I walked around and picked up the white papers that the machines give when you cash out. A total of eight cents later, I tried to play. But no machine would let me play for eight cents. I found a paper with twenty seven cents and it was ripped in pieces. I hope who ever left if lost their ass, because that is just cruel, vagrants like me count on finding those. Why did you rip it up?
My dad finally gave in, ten dollars for the samurai game, Ha Yah!!! It took less than five minutes to lose it. Time to go.
I walked out and my sisters left me to walk the second floor to my car all alone, stepping into a horror flick, the parking lot was empty and the elevator doors closed, I walked to the car with brisk steps, to the side of me I found Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hoodrat, there was a young man behind a car that was pooping, either that or a girl that couldn't wait any longer and had to pee. Either way I walked to my car with my key between my forefinger and middle finger, in case I had to jab out an eye. I passed some stoners and jumped into my car. My sisters called to see if I made it to the car, I was already on the interstate.
I still had 3 hours left of my energy drink, I was wired. I counted the change in my car to get a scratch off on the way home, but only had forty five cents. DAMMIT.
I got home and this is where I had the most challenge, each step up the stairs had me tinkle a little. I understood the person behind the car. I twisted myself up to the door and Juno the wonder dog barked loud enough to wake the deaf neighbors. I screamed some obscenities at him, its ok, he is a dog and doesn't speak human.
I peeled off my now soaked in the middle jeans and did a quick TPA rinse. I walked to my bedroom, and my husband and the boys looked like they were reenacting a confederate battle, they were sprawled on the bed in positions that took up the entire king bed from top to bottom, side to side. I decided it was best to sleep on the sofa, I put on a clean pair of pajamas and grabbed my snuggie. And I dreamed of my next casino day, and all the money I was gonna win. Today was just not my night.