Late

I lean over to give my husband a kiss, the last thing I do before I leave the house, it's 7 AM.
"Is Diego up?'
"No."
"He just lost $5."
He tells me that last night as I slept, they bet that Diego wouldn't wake up at go to summer camp early, 7 AM early. Information I need to know.
"How is he going to wake up if we don't wake him, not his fault."
"He set the Nintendo DS, it has an alarm." Sonofabitch! That thing does that too. Where were these toys when I was growing up, all my toys plugged into the wall, and to work properly, you had to blow it. (see funny ha ha)
I go back to Tito's room, Diego fell asleep there last night, if he wakes up I take him, if he doesn't he stays. I whisper in his ear, he moves around and stirs from his deep slumber, I tussle with his hair give him a kiss, and try one last time, "Diego."
He shoots up like a Disney morning, (whenever we go to Disney the kids seem to shoot out of bed with ease and they don't argue about the early rising) he wipes sleep from his eyes and I tell him we are late. "Diego, I have been trying to wake you up since 6:30, let's go."
So, I lie, he needs to hop to it. He runs and brushes his teeth, as I make his lunch, we walk out the door at 7:10, in the car he is excited to be at camp so early, we get there and the lot is empty but with 2 cars. I rush him out with his lunchbox, we get to the door, it's locked. I knock harder and a young girl comes out, "7:30 it opens, I can't take him till then."
SHIT! I repeat, "7:30?"
"Yep you have 15 minutes."
Ok, no problem, I will just go down the street to the CVS and pick up some cigarettes and take out cash, I have no cash for lunch, perfect, still I know I am going to be late, it takes 40 minutes to get to work.
We head to CVS and I get my cigarettes, I step up the the old lady and she rings me up, the machine is stuck, the paper for receipts has decided to get stuck, she points to the other line, I stand and wait, when it's my turn, they ring me up and take my card, credit. I told her debit.
"It's the machine, it was automatic, get a candy bar, they are buy two get one free."
I look at her and run to get a Monster energy drink, they have none, I check the Starbucks coffee, almost three dollars. I decide the buy one get one candy is a better choice. I go back to the register and get the candy and hand over the card. I should have tattooed the word IDIOT on my forehead, because the fucking machine did the same damn thing again. I tell her I need the cash, not the candy and decide it's better to get a refund, she starts the transaction.
In this time I remember a CVS reciept my mom gave me with $1.50 on it. "Diego, run to the car and get mommy's purse."
The old lady hands me a paper to sign for my $1.91 refund. I sign it, she rings me up again, this time I hand over the $1.50 receipt, it's like a coupon, it deducts the amount from your balance.
"I need the card." Really! I did through my purse and hand over the card, after a second, she tells me that the card and the coupon don't match.
"Ok, then take off a candy bar."
"If I take off one, you still owe for two, you might as well get one for free."
Stupid old hack, of course I want to take it off, only one candy bar, you won't take the coupon, why do I need to buy all this candy, I just need to make one fucking purchase, why isn't she in a home with her One Life to Live and her cats. She has no business behind the register.
"Fine, take off two, I only need one to make a purchase and get some cash."
I say this as calmly as possible, and Diego tries to get a toy from the front counter, I give him the look and he places it back where it belongs.
Granny points to the machine, I enter my card and hit debit, transaction complete, I have my cash and hand over the candy bar and walk out the door.
"When I feed you Butterfinger for breakfast, it's between you and me, don't go blabbing this to your father."
"Deal." I have aced the art of bribery and winning over my children with chocolate and Club Penguin cards.
We go back to the camp and it is now 7:40 I am beyond late. I sign him in and haul it to work, Happy Hump Day to me.