Today I felt like I ran a marathon. Waking up at 6 am to make up time for a doctor's appointment, the time flew by at an astonishing pace. Before I knew it I was back at work from the doctor's visit. By midday my shirt was drenched with sweat, I was ready to jump out of my skin. I felt the need to move, to walk, to talk, my anxiety heightened with every passing second. On top of that, for the past couple of days I have had flu like symptoms.
The only thing I can compare it to is running, focusing on the track, concentrating on staying between the white lines, not looking back, just running forward and you can see the finish line, you stride to the end and just when you think you are at the done, you look around and you are now in a desert, disoriented, no path to be taken any further, no one around, you are alone in a desolate place, there are no markers to guide you out, but you want to run and don't know which way to go.
That about sums it up, I would go to the fax machine, off to the mailbox, anything to move and keep from sitting still. The doctor's visit fresh in my mind, the aches and pains were not the flu at all, but withdrawals from my medication, she agrees to try me on a different pill, tells me I need to exercise and with the time up, she has no more advice to offer.
Walking into the doctor's office was entertaining, like walking into a jacked up world of children's tales, there were characters everywhere but the lady in the waiting room, she was just out of place, she had running gear on and a big pink purse that was a flower, the zippers between the petals, it was a big purse, maybe she was a shoplifter, I snuggle my purse closer to me in a reflex kind of way, she was just really white and really pink, like the 80's just threw her up onto the couch and she just sat there reading a magazine, the person behind me looked like santa claus, but he was sent by willy wonka to the taffy pulling machine, his face stretched and his beard made it even longer, he scared me, but I felt sorry for him, the way his fingers shook, he had a hard time finding his insurance cards and he had cut off jean shorts with blue socks and black dress shoes, he wore a trucker hat and porn star glasses (the ones with the orange yellow tint, they may have been a seen on tv special at one point) what I thought to be a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer can was actually a diet one calorie soda, and I assume people usually pulled away from him, so I looked up and gave him a smile. Welcoming him into sharing with me and the other patients on his horses and cows and how they are sad and lazy, I don't see him as the farming type, but his animals don't seem to care for him, maybe he just visits a petting zoo and adopted one, like angelina and the kids, and people with the stars in the sky, and I think you can adopt whales too. The world is odd.
I filled out paperwork and laughed about his fat ass cows and the way he described their stubbornness. Moments later Tinkerbell walked in, obviously having had a wild affair with a plastic surgeon, those were not real, they didn't even bounce right, but they were perky and at my eye level, I couldn't look away. She bopped in and signed the book, I was called back to see the doctor.
I think I may be out of order in my story, but I am having an off day and I still feel sick to my stomach, nausea and dizziness are hanging out with me too.
I blog to get things off my chest, I look to my phone often, but rarely have a missed call, unless it's Lucy. (my mom, short for Lucifer)
And I really want to just type and spill it out, (I don't really need to know if someone is reading this) the blogging, it may have been doctor's orders but the session was cut short, I didn't have time to tell her I blogged. She being Jabba the Hut, she was really nice, but I didn't understand a word she said, in the beginning, I just spoke and answered questions I imagined she could've said. She nodded and wrote and wrote and wrote. Her face looked like it was melting off, I couldn't look away and when she stood up, it was like a building was moving, she was massive, her dress looked like it was holding up a hot air balloon and she teased her hair because it was very thin, after a session with me, she would probably have a little less than she did before she walked into her office, someone should have warned her, maybe she should sample rogaine, I don't know if that would help woman though, I think she already had a beard, no harm in trying, the side effects are already there.
Jabba helped me and gave me hope, when I walked out santa was probably out in his sleigh, screaming at the reindeer for being immobile, now that I think about it, he was at a psychiatric office with me, dear god, what if the cows aren't lazy they are just dead, oh well, maybe when the flesh falls off he will figure it out, and well tinkerbell was probably blowing the doctor for some really good sedatives. Oh Tink, there must be another way. Next appointment in 3 weeks, will keep you up to date.
****QUOTE I LIKE-If you think I am crazy now, wait till the sedatives wear off. (saw it on a bumper sticker)***
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