Welcome Kami

Welcome to the world Kami, Jonel and Kristi had the baby today, she is absolutely adorable.Seeing that baby has been the highlight of my day...today has been filled with Bita moments, these are moments when the situation at hand makes me want to be swallowed by the ground, the earth just opens it's mouth and swallows me whole. Embarrassing, how-can-this-be-happening moments.
This morning I had a one on one scheduled with my manager, bright and early at 9 am, I did all the things I had to, woke up early, showered, did my hair, dressed up nicely, applied make up and lipstick, wore heels, the whole nine. When I get to work and sit to talk to my bestie Rosa, I plop my plumpness on a chair and look down to a very white with blue stripes spot (size of a dime) on my oh so black Ann Taylor pants. (What is this, what is going on?) Doing a double take, I take my finger and touch my underwear, NO!!!! this just can't be. I look up to her, give her an O-M-G W-T-F-am-I-going-to-do smile, and she smiles back, pulls her cell out of her purse and proceeds to take a snap shot of my crotch. (thank you for that by the way)
I go to the sweaters that are often given to me in times of crisis. The blue just does not do well with my black and pink blouse, I look down to the neon orange polish still glowing on my toes and run to the bathroom, my hot pink nail polish hidden in my bra. I go to the bathroom stall that no one goes into (the unspoken one that everyone goes to by themselves to push in peace) and raise my toes up to the handicap handle bars, one by one going from neon orange to neon pink (perfect shade for the blouse) finish and run back to my desk, I have 15 minutes left, I run to Sharon, the queen of fashion at work and the sky shined down on me, she had a box of safety pins, I run back to the bathroom to take off the pants and start to close up the hole just under the zipper, hoping that the safety pin doesn't pop open and pinch my ta-ta. (mental note: must walk carefully, must not run barefoot in the office, must remember to remove safety pin from area that can cause severe agony)
Made it to the meeting, all went stellar, go me!!! The rest of the day went as usual.
My husband was off and home with the boys, I called him on the way home, at this point, Kristi (my cousin's wife/BFF is in labor, has been since yesterday) was still dilating, not pushing yet. I tested the waters and mentioned a quick stop at the hospital, he mentioned a quick bite at Yoko's (our favorite sushi place), I then hauled my ass home to pick him up for sushi. Text after text, I was getting the updates on the baby's arrival. No reason to rush yet. We ate dinner, drove to the hospital, and waited...and waited....then I got ballsy and asked to go back to the delivery room, they gave me the little sticker with my mugshot and I strolled to Labor Delivery Room 16, the door is further back than the rest of the rooms, it's a large door, and it's also closed. I knock, thinking maybe it could be the wrong couple. ( I don't think that seeing Kristi's woo-haa would be appropriate without her permission, but really don't they all look the same?) After a couple of seconds, a small little man with disheveled hair comes out and asks who I am, dammit wrong room! I tell him my name, behind him is a big green curtain and I hear a lot of voices from nurses, then I hear Kristi, not really a word, like a moan, and the word "later", but not sure who said it. The little man came back from behind the curtain and walked out to me, closing the door behind him. He introduced himself as the doctor and I introduced myself as the cousin, he told me that the baby is faced up and this is why she is having difficulty delivering. I stood there probably white from sheer embarrassment, these are the things that I need to avoid. Had I no doubts that this was their room, heaven only knows what would have blinded me.
I walk back into the waiting room and explain to the party of 12 Cubans and Kristi's dad how I got rejected, I guess you could say kicked out, although they didn't necessarily kick me out, I never stepped foot in.
Later at the hospital....Word came in that the baby was in distress and they decided on a C-Section, worry set in and hours passed by, finally little Kami was here and we all trooped down the hallway to the nursery to see the princess. The security guard stopped us, counted us, assigned us all tags, and then released us, although we didn't all fit in the elevator. We huddled together and attacked the nursery area, all of us rubber necking to catch a glimpse of this tiny little wonder, her wide eyes gazed at all of the weird faces peering out at her, her mouth open, she blinked, everything she did seemed to amaze us, like a little doll coming to life. Paparazzi mode kicked in and there were suddenly cameras clicking away everywhere, I said my good byes, kissed and congratulated and went on home to my prince.
Mike D was fast asleep, he found the doodle markers and decided to get tatted up by himself, such the little artist. Diego is watching the husband eat baked ziti and garlic bread, he then decides that he wants garlic bread.
History-There is a special offer on a specific bread that if you purchase 5, you send the 5 UPC cut outs with a completed form and they will send you a Toy Story lunchbox that lights up, well this is right up Diego's alley, we even bought peanut butter because he is getting bold in his 8 years.
My husband gets the garlic bread and puts it in the toaster, then goes off to rent a movie.
Here I was blogging, la la-la, la di-da, then I smelled the burning and instantly I knew that the toast was burnt, the toaster is not far and I turn the dial until I hear the ping telling me it's now off, I open the toaster and stare at the brown and black piece of bread, my sight inches up slowly and I then see the loaf of bread, sitting there on top of the toaster. Looks fine, but I know better, I touch the plastic casing and the whole thing shifts to the side. Since I am so intent on going through 5 loaves of bread quickly, I set the bread up where I never have, on top of the toaster instead of the pantry. We both missed this and now the entire plastic casing, (including the must have UPC portion) is melted into the toaster. The image should be pretty clear. I lost the bread, lost the toast, lost the UPC, so if you have alcohol handy have a shot for me.
Being raised in the Cuban family that I have been raised in, I was taught that you never throw away bread without kissing it and making the sign of the cross with it. Do not attempt to ask me why, number one, I know nothing about religion to explain this in a sensible way, and number two, I myself have many questions about my upbringing and I just follow the rules set in place with the whole superstition thing. I do know it has to do with the body of Christ and the symbolism and I really whole heartedly believe in him, so as not to offend him, I refuse to throw away the 27 pieces of burnt (with melted plastic on the bottom) slices without performing this ritual. Lord help me.