Today is Father's Day, I celebrated with my husband yesterday, today he works till 11:30 pm, ironic how I spent today as a single mom. I miss him, but duty calls and he has to work, so tonight I will see him, waiting with bells and whistles when he walks through the door.
My husband is a phenomenal father, and my father is amazing. I wouldn't change either for the world.
My father is an excellent example of what a perfect father is, he is known as the man behind the moustache and me and my sisters fear him, not in the physical way, in the oh-god-i-hope-i-never-disappoint-him kind of way, he knows everything, and we know when stupid ideas come up, we still follow through, he rescues us when we hit bottom and we dread the lectures, they are long and boring and juiced up with guilt. This is where I count the tiles on the floor and wonder what I will have for my next meal. We have learned to deal with it.
My husband is learning the ropes with me, parenting is not easy, and we talk about everything, it's good to marry your best friend. We may not be the most conventional parents but we do the best with what we have. And we get through it without killing each other along the way. I hope if I ever end up on Snapped my hair is straighted, otherwise I would be guilty by appearance.
For father's day I performed a miracle for my husband yesterday cooking something I have never made before, his favorite dish: codfish serenade. Cold codfish, desalted with olive oil, onions and bananas, Spanish people call these bananas something else, they are green and you boil them and they aren't sweet, but are served with olive oil and garlic, they aren't supposed to come out like play doh, but they did, and he ate them, and the rice with pigeon peas (gandules) resembled mashed potatos, but he ate them too and ate them some more and ate again till the food was gone. (see below)
We drove around looking for a good milkshake after dinner and he refused to pay for the expensive ones, although those are the best, so we spent the money driving around aimlessly and ended up at wally world, I enjoy people watching, and this is the place to go. We saw trannies and size 24 woman wearing size 20 shorts, with 5 kids and one in diapers no shoes, it's just astonishing to watch. I did notice an act of kindness, the lady that looked like she was flossing her ass with the hot shorts bumped into a gentleman with a tattoo under his eye (due to fear of caught staring, I don't know of what) and she said "Excuse me!" This took me by surprise because when I say "pardon me" the words make me invisible, no one ever says anything back, maybe they have never heard the word pardon and I am taking them by surprise. Needless to say, he nodded at her and smiled back, I counted 7 teeth where the two front ones were supposed to be, and none on the bottom, maybe his teeth decided to migrate to the top to be seen more, needless to say he must not have a good dental plan. The economy and society is really going to shit. Just as a plus for you, I have not been to the dentist in many many years for fear of the drill, the scraping sounds they make in my head, and the shot to the gums. Let my teeth fall out, maybe the wall creatures will be nice to me.
We decide on butter pecan and chocolate and vanilla, coming home to make our tasty treats, home made milkshakes are wonderful. I left the boys do their thing and do not ask about the ingredients. My husband knows me far too well, bringing me an adult beverage instead, like rum and diet soda, lite on the soda part. While the baby is being babysat and diego is on the desk top, we watch some investigative shows and feeling frisky I make gestures to the bedroom, we tip toe away and I start with a sensual massage (hey, it's his father's day, he asked and thanks to our recent er visit, I oblige as this is the gift, his day, it revolves around him, just for today) After cursing in my head that he actually found the message oil, I hear the faintness of his breathing, he has fallen asleep, he lightly snores. (Ok, here is the deal, I snore loudly, grizzly bear like, and he has insomnia, we just don't mix, he takes his ambien every night and I really can't tell that he has until he hits this wall, like a very weird high, sometimes amusing, but not today)
I wake him up and threaten to blog about this and he wakes up and brings up the fucking socks. (well hells bells and poppycock!) The argument is brief and we go back to the couch to watch a movie. (playtime is over) I pull up the laptop, completely disinterested in television, and watch him get up from the sofa to get some ice cream, after the ice cream, he had mushed rice and cold fish, a heaping of a serving, then finishes it off with a root beer float, we are now out of vanilla. We go back to attempt the first try and lets just say we looked like the commercial for the fire and ice stuff, where they are reading a book, then they look like they spent the day at one of my family functions, completely drained and disoriented. I have never had to work so hard and pulled out all the stops, but it worked.
He pulls up his cell phone and tells me about an application he has downloaded by mistake (appropriately so) and it has to do with cyber babes and pick up lines, most being cheesy and then this one: Women are like hurricanes, they come in wet and wild and when it's over they leave with your car and half of your shit. How nice.
Ambien, why have you turned my husband into a hoover vacuum power tool at night, he eats everything in the fridge, he eats everything except what he is supposed to eat, and why do you make it so difficult for me to bring out the man that I once knew, you have replaced him with a comatose drunk, he is like that obnoxious person you stay away from at the club but can't help but watch, waiting for him to pass out so that there is peace and you can finally go out to the dance floor and shake your rump without him popping up out of no where doing the nasty rump bump dancy dance. You have come into my universe and maliciously tampered with all my planets, nothing goes right. Why are you always fucking up a perfectly lustful night?
I have hidden the pills and maybe tonight there will be a little less effort on my part. I can't complain too much though, as my bestest friend in the whole world is Xanax. I love her. How else would I get through the days?
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