Welcome Home

This morning was great, Juno was sick and I was late, again.

Rushing into work I almost hit a white van merging into my lane, the bad thing about having a Yaris is that no one sees you, you are like a flea in the road, a nuisance only getting in the way of others, well I have somewhere to be too dammit!!! Sometimes I wish I could push a button and turn into a Tonka Truck (see big rig) and run them over or scare them like a Stephen King movie come to life.

I managed to hit a curb and prayed the rest of the way that I wouldn't get a flat.

Work was work, it was like a Yaris, in the way of my day.

I sit down to a quiet house, hoping that mike d is sleeping and I can have a couple of minutes of pre blog time. But alas, my dreams are shattered. The chariot arrives on his korean stallion. Mother in law walks into the kitchen and slowly drops him off in the kitchen. She begins to tell me how smart he is, the child is gifted, will be curing cancer in no time. (especially since it basically it chased him down and he pissed in it's face)

History-Mike D like all of my children is multi lingual, at least now - in the beginning. Tito spoke Spanish till he was 5, then went to Villa School and had to learn English, and there went that. Diego spoke Spanish and Korean and then at 4 met Dora and the Wiggles, and well there went that too. Neither of them speaking till later in life (like 3) Diego almost had to go to a speech doctor for his lacking vocabulary. They are fine now, but speak mainly English understanding little of the other stuff. Mike D, is special, he listens in English, Spanish and Korean, but he doesn't understand a word, he is not the best communicator, if he wants to change the channel, he bops you with the remote, if he wants to have something from the fridge, he hangs from the handle (I am waiting for that too soon fall off like most of the other handles in the house) and you could tell by his actions he wants something from the dridge. Yesterday he brought me cans of tuna from the pantry, I don't know why, he doesn't eat tuna, he wasn't hungry, he just kept bringing me tuna, here is the not the best communicator example.

Mike D says one word Bye, when he sees you he says bye, when he leaves he says bye bye, that is the extent of his vocabulary, being the little turd that most 2 year olds are, sometimes he will throw out a "Da-Da"clearly inflating the hubsters ego, I ignore it. He is twenty six months old, should I really make a big deal about it.

Mother in law calls him out of the pooping corner under the nightstand and he runs into the living room, spinning in circles, leaning forward as if under a bridge, it's the oddest dance. But he owns this and she gleams.

She begins to set up for the performance, she bends down a little and says (in spanish) "Watch, watch this, watch what he does...one...two...three...four"

Immediately Mike D say "Bye"

"You saw that, you heard him, he counts!!!"

Considering that just moments ago, this grandmother exraoridinaire just handed me a plate of scramble eggs mixed up with rice and 6 tablespoons of butter, with the egg shell she used placed on the top of the pile, like a cake setting, except the bride has a knife and is chasing the groom, what is that, how is this supposed to look edible or inviting, there is still yolk residue in the shell. (Gag!!!)

Listening to her say five and bye, I find myself unable to distinguish either word, I can see what her dilemma is, I am not overly impressed. She just kept saying "Did you hear him?" I just smiled and nodded, why burst her bubble. Just this weekend my mother showed me the same trick. Except she laughed because she knew that he had not accomplished such a grand feat.

I smile at my mother and law and she goes off to play with mike d under the covers in my bed, I follow and join in, realizing that I am suddenly in the middle of a great game of turtle. Remembering that she lost her sense of smell years ago.

She is thrilled at the prospect of a dirty diaper, telling me how he hasn't gone all day and must have waited for me to get home. She grabs her keys and goes out back. Such a splendid welcome home.

Note-Last night my hubs read my blog and said this, "It's funny, it's light, it's entertaining, the fucked up part is that it's true."

(It's finally ok to be followed by the dark cloud.)