Hello Harry

The line was not only ridiculously long, but most of it under under the blazing Florida sun. At 9AM this isn't the most thrilling way to spend my Saturday morning. We have already bribed Diego enough to get him on the new ride, 3 rides promised by the end of the day(why wait 2 hrs so he can sit at the side) he runs around in the little splash area, so do the other kids, including my husband. We wait in line with our yellow tickets, proof that we were in line, they are weeding out line impostors. I remember my red plastic refill cup at the checkout counter. Nooooooo!!! Now it will cost me another $8 to buy one and have the one dollar refills. I wonder if I can run to the front and back to them in line, I may go into heat seizures, this idea is not bright, must be the sun. I then wonder if anyone will notice if I snatch one from the garbage or a stroller, (well why do people need five or six of them, not fair) I look to my husband who must see the spacely sprockets in my head turning with a rusty creak, he gives me the stink eye, so more refills for me.

As we walked in to Harry land I was overwhelmed and clueless as to what I was looking at. I have only seen 2 or 3 Harry Potter movies, so we had to rely on Kels to describe the scenes, the costumes and the different rooms in the castle to us. There were little children dressed as wizards and many of the guests looked like the 3 main characters. Sometimes so much that I had to do double takes, everyone drank Butterbeer, which is just a butterscotch frosty, not bad, beware of brain freeze.

The ride was great, but again, I couldn't follow Harry on his broomstick, I just wasn't too sure what our mission was, but flipping around in the seat was fantastic. The area was filled with owls and wands, the line for the wands was about an hour long, this so that you could go into the store, have them make fairy music in the background and a light shines on you, there you have been Harry-ized, then you select your wand, give your credit card, and you are now a wizard.
There is no wizardry going on in my house aside from my grandmother or mother in law and their potions for ailments. So since neither are with me, there will be no wand purchasing. I can do the same thing at home for free by putting silverware in my glass tupperware and shaking it (fairy music) and a flashlight (the wizard gods shining down on you) then I will give you a chop stick and you are a proclaimed wizard, bippity boppity.

After that we rode on the water rides, getting soaked I put my hair in a bun and now there is another Olive Oyl for the ride, Bluto's Barge's, the entire time I was teased about being part of the attraction, and my husband retorted that I need to make up my mind about Bluto and Popeye, and other not nice things. The guys went into the bathroom and the girls sat at the picnic tables, we all knew that wearing jeans, would not give us the happying of going potty, if the wet jeans could be peeled off, there was no question they would stay off. We would never be able to pull those babies back on. Exhaustion was evident in all our faces. Nina and the gang grew tired quickly and left to go home, we stayed with Diego and the reminder that we would do two more kids rides, including ET.

We head to the Simpson's ride, and begin the line, 45 minutes, we walk up and around and end up again in the sun, no shade nearby. The foreigners behind us huddle under an umbrella, probably making fun of us, I am sure we looked close to collapsing, holding on to the bar rails and wiping the sweat off of our face. We conclude that one of the characters must have thought up the layout for the ride, because who ever decided to have the line zig zag in the direct way of the sun is a fucking ritard. I try to find from where a breeze is coming, and begin to envy my darling sister in her quick sprint to the car, wondering why I bribed my son with more time here. The family in front of us smells like a bunch of belly buttons. The smell is gut wrenching. (It's the closest I have come to smelling a dead body, well I imagine as such, just dig your finger into your belly button, rub it in, then smell it, now not only are you an idiot, but that smell will take many washes with soap and alchohol to come off, that's what they smelled like) These woman, probably were from one of those anti deodorant countries, the more they moved, the more I smelled their floral aroma in the air, I am no longer looking for the breeze. I suck on my drink, (a Homer Simpson cup, just $15 because I allowed my husband to pick it out, and the kicker is it holds less than the $8 refill cups, maybe they called his ass up to get ride layout plans) it only has ice and a lingering taste of soda but it's the most I can do to avoid the stench. We walk up little by little the entire time dodging the air, I see the sweat dripping and the back of their clothes getting wetter and spottier. They must make trial size Febreeze, next time it will be on my list. But how will I spray them, oh in one of those bottles with a fan the kids use to refresh themselves, but then I have to remember to not let the kids play with it. I am sure Febreeze is toxic or something. No I will just spray the stinkies and camoflauge my ninja spraying tactics with the kids water bottle, genius. We get into the air conditioned ride and head in the opposite direction of the belly button family.

After that ride we went home, picked up mike d, who fell asleep in the car and pass out. It will be a while before I go back to visit Harry, too many issues to deal with. I look at my Homer refill cup and will make sure we use it the most that we can. As for Febreeze, we have a date with the laundry tonight.